


break free

by sunshinedoie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Boys In Love, But only if you squint, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Sad Ending, Side Seungjin, inspired by Voices, side BinSung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinedoie/pseuds/sunshinedoie
Summary: it's the end of the world. who has time to fall in love?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9
Collections: STRAY KIDS MV FICFEST





	break free

**Author's Note:**

> written for [skz mv fest](https://twitter.com/skzmvfest?s=21); inspired by skz's [voices](https://youtu.be/5HMOkfE3kno) mv !!

Chan walked through the streets of the empty town that he now called home, eyes wandering across the barren landscape. Several new layers of dust had settled here since the last time he passed by; it had only been a couple of days, but the dust was brutal.

He peered through the open windows of their building, hoping to find a specific someone looking back at him, but he had no such luck. With a sigh, Chan shifted his eyes to the steps leading up to the entrance and took them two at a time, his footsteps loud in the silence.

The doors had long since fallen off, only broken hinges with pieces of the old wood still attached remaining. Chan stepped into the main lobby, the smallest bit of cool air hitting him as the walls blocked out the sun.

Felix would probably be in the far room; he liked how comfortable the couches were in there. They weren’t quite as destroyed as the rest of them, and the cushions were fairly new.

Chan entered the room quietly, glancing over to the couch. Sure enough, Felix was there, eyes glued to the ceiling.

“Hey,” he greeted with a grin. 

The boy sat up immediately, a smile taking over his features; Chan could have sworn the room brightened. He took a seat next to Felix and leaned his head on his shoulder, the other boy’s hand coming up to mess with his hair.

“How’s it going out there, bro?”

Chan smiled, sighing softly at the feeling of Felix’s fingers running through his hair. “It’s alright, I think. The dust is everywhere again but I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, aside from that thing Jisung found last week. Where are the others?”

“I think a couple of them are off on a date of sorts? As for the others… not sure.”

“How do they even have time for dates? It’s basically the end of the world as we know it.”

Felix laughed lightly. “There’s always time for love, Chan. Maybe the end of everything made them decide that pining forever wouldn’t cut it.” He shifted his position on the couch and motioned for Chan to lay his head in his lap, hands still messing with his hair. “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to find someone that I could love and be loved by, but I guess it just hasn’t happened yet. Probably never will.”

Chan doesn’t quite understand, but he nods his head. “I suppose that makes sense… in a world where we had time to fall in love, I think I’d feel the same way you do.”

Felix’s hands faltered. “The same way?”

“Yeah, I’d like to fall in love, too, but with the way the world is right now, there’s just no point.”

He heard Felix sigh deeply, and the conversation was over. They sat there for several minutes, the sound of their breath the only thing breaking the silence.

Chan looked up at the boy’s face, his eyes closed and freckles scattered everywhere like mini constellations. Felix opened his eyes and looked into Chan’s, a small smile taking over his features.

Chan would fall in love if this was what it felt like.

“Hey,” he whispered. Felix whispered back with red cheeks, his smile growing wider. 

They were torn from the moment by a loud crash out in the hall; the others were probably back from their outing. A small part of Chan wished they were still gone, but he knew that was selfish. He shouldn’t waste Felix’s time.

Jisung came through the door, laughing, Changbin’s hand linked with his. Jeongin and Minho followed closely behind them, and the four of them sat down on the couch and nearby floor. Chan sat up and greeted them, asking about their outing.

Soon enough, they were telling the story and giggling about little things, but Chan wasn’t paying attention; he was so tired, and Felix’s arms were comfortable and warm. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep.

* * *

Chan woke up in a bed with some of the softest sheets he’s felt in a while, something warm laying against him. He looked down and saw a familiar figure sleeping next to him, his chest rising and falling with each breath.

Felix.

After a few minutes, the freckled boy stirred and yawned cutely, opening his eyes to look at Chan. “Hi, baby,” he said, voice deep and rough from sleep. Chan’s cheeks flushed darkly at the endearment.

“Good morning, Lixie.” He smiled softly, and Felix shifted so that his limbs were wrapped around Chan like a koala. He moved around a little more until his face was so close that he could count each freckle. The sun shone behind the boy’s head, the light forming a perfect halo. Felix looked him in the eye, a light blush on his cheeks.

“Hey, baby,” Felix started, and Chan flushed again. “Can I kiss you?”

Chan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Did he hear that right? Felix looked down and blushed harder.

“I want to kiss you if that’s alright.”

A million thoughts swam through Chan’s head at that moment, but the loudest one was a resounding  _ yes. _ “Oh, um, absolutely. Yes, please.”

Felix brought his hand up to cup his cheek, eyes fluttering shut, and Chan leaned forward to meet him in the middle. He felt the boy’s lips brush against his, and his stomach filled with butterflies.

Before their lips could meet in a kiss, Felix pulled away.

“Hyung?”

Huh?

“Channie, wake up.”

Felix’s freckles faded away, and Chan opened his eyes, struggling to focus on anything. He groaned at the bright light, shutting his eyes again.

“What’s going on?” he mumbled, yawning.

“You fell asleep, dummy. We were telling you our wonderful story and you fell asleep!” Jisung whined jokingly.

Chan laughed, his cheeks heating up.

“What were you dreaming about anyway?” Minho asked. “I think you were trying to make out with the cushions.”

“Oh, it was… it’s nothing.”

“Channie has a crush!” Jisung exclaimed excitedly. Changbin looked up at Jisung and smiled before adding on.

“I wonder who it is? There are only eight of us here, and I don’t think he liked anyone back when there were other people to like.”

Jisung nodded thoughtfully, Jeongin looking over to see what was going on. Chan didn’t have a crush on anyone, anyway, so he didn’t care too much about their theories.

The dream was odd, though.

It was just a dream, but his subconscious could have been trying to tell him something. Maybe he did have a crush; Chan wouldn’t mind getting to kiss Felix for real, and that wasn’t the way he felt with the others. He wouldn’t want to kiss Changbin.

So why was it okay when it was Felix?

He pushed the thought aside and listened to his friends joke about him and his supposed crush.

* * *

The sun set early, and cold air blew in. Winter was coming soon, and he couldn’t have been more excited about the change. Chan glanced out of the open window and noticed how bright the stars looked; they were typically so dull due to the endless clouds of dust that rose from the ground.

He walked down the hall to the room that Felix slept in and checked to see if he was awake.

“Felix?” he called out softly into the empty space.

He heard some shuffling, and a sleepy Felix walked out into the light, wrapped in a blanket and rubbing his eyes.

Chan smiled. “Hey, if you’re tired, then this can wait. Get your rest.”

“I just took a nap, so I’ll be fine. What is it?”

“Oh,” Chan began, “I was just wondering if you would like to go to the rooftop with me? To look at the stars.”

“Absolutely,” Felix grinned, dropping the blanket and running towards the stairs. “C’mon, last one there’s a rotten egg!”

They raced up the stairway, giggling and shoving each other lightly on their way to the roof. Felix burst out of the door onto the rooftop, laughing and cheering in victory.

“Hyung, you’re a rotten egg now. How does it feel?” Chan looked at him, Felix’s eyes shining with joy and reflecting the starlight.

“It feels  _ so good _ , Lix,” he said sarcastically. Chan grabbed Felix’s hand and brought him to the best part of the roof. They had set up some chairs here, and sometimes the eight of them would sit around and tell stories. He used to worry about the rain, but it stopped raining here a long time ago. He missed the rain.

They sat down in two of the chairs, facing the open expanse of nothing that surrounded their little town. Felix looked up at the stars, smiling wide at the sight of them.

“This is so beautiful… thank you, Chan.”

Chan smiled, ignoring the stars in favor of watching Felix’s eyes sparkling in the light. Maybe he did have some feelings for this boy after all.

“Of course, Lixie,” he replied, voice barely above a whisper.

They sat there in silence for a while, looking up at the sky. A shooting star passed by, and Felix pointed it out excitedly, causing Chan to laugh softly, heat rising in his cheeks once more.

“I made a wish! Do you want to know what it was?” Felix giggled and bounced on his feet, smiling, the moonlight illuminating his freckles just right.

Chan moved closer to him and grabbed his hands gently. “What was it?”

Felix smiled and looked him in the eye. “I wished for… this won’t ruin my wish, will it? I kind of want it to happen.” Chan smiled wide, shaking his head.

“I think it will be fine.”

“Alright then; I wished for love,” he smiled. “I know it’s unrealistic, but maybe I’ll get to experience it before…” He trailed off, reminded of the fact that their world wouldn’t be the same for much longer. They couldn’t stay here forever.

Chan hummed in thought. “I’m sure you will; I don’t think there’s a single person in the world who wouldn’t want to love you and be loved by you. You’re so kind and giving and talented… you’re amazing.”

Felix smiled and nodded. “I hope you’re right, but… I’m worried he’ll never feel the same way that I feel about him.”

He?

“Wait, Lix. Do you like someone here?”

He nodded again, taking his hands out of Chan’s so he could fidget with them, head tilted down.

“Oh, uh… me too, I think.” His cheeks flushed with color; they always turned red when he was around Felix.

The boy looked up at him suddenly, his eyes shining with hope. Chan brought his hand up to cup Felix’s cheek, and he whispered the question.

“Can I kiss you?”

Felix leaned in close and responded against his lips. “Absolutely.”

Excitement coursed through him as his lips pressed to Felix’s, soft and gentle. This was so much better than his dream, and this time, nobody was there to wake him from it. Fireworks exploded behind his eyes as he pulled him even closer.

Felix kissed like the world was ending, and the two of them were the last people on Earth. And maybe they were. His lips were soft, how did he keep them so soft? Chan couldn’t help but think about how chapped his were. 

Chan felt arms wrap around his waist as Felix kissed him, and he returned the kiss passionately.

But he knew that he and Felix could never be together. He pushed the boy away. 

“Felix… we can’t.”

* * *

The next couple of weeks were filled with tension, so thick that Chan could almost feel it. Felix wouldn’t sit next to him anymore, and they hardly spoke to one another, even in passing. He couldn’t help but think that he messed up.

Chan knew that Felix was upset because he pushed him away, but it just made sense. The world was ending, after all. He didn’t want to waste the last of Felix’s good times on himself. 

This was what was best for Felix.

Chan watched Felix laugh at another one of Jisung’s jokes, and he smiled sadly. He wished he could make Felix laugh again.

Maybe someday they would break free from this world and live happily ever after.

But that day was not today.

* * *

“Why not, Chan? Explain that to me.”

Felix had entered Chan’s room in the middle of the night, tears streaming down his face. Chan’s eyes teared up; he hated seeing Felix upset.

“Our timing is awful, Lix. There couldn’t possibly be a worse time for us, and I’m sorry about that. Maybe we just… aren’t meant to be.”

“Please, Chan; this is hurting you as much as it’s hurting me. We want to be together, so why not just do it? Yeah, the timing is bad but who cares? I just want us to be happy.” Felix frowned, a fresh set of tears falling.

Chan felt something wet drip onto his shirt; he must be crying, too. Felix stepped closer to him, resting his hand on Chan’s cheek and asking a silent question.

He hesitated before nodding, and Felix kissed him once more.

Chan melted into it almost immediately. He kissed the boy back like they would never see each other again, kissed him like they were in love. And maybe they were.

Felix pulled away, looking back and forth between Chan’s eyes.

“Please,” he whispered, almost desperately.

Chan frowned, tears falling down harder as he shook his head. 

“I wish we could, Felix. I really do.”


End file.
